Date Three

Tonight Amy and I went to see The Dark Knight. I wanted her to pick because, technically, I chose the last two. I already saw the movie, which is heavily flawed, but entertaining. The acting is great, though Christian Bale is unfortunately wasted. The real problem with the movie is the script--it's inept. They need to either add an hour or move the Two-Face transformation to the next one in the series. Developing any of the ideas and themes introduced would help, too, but that's not really what I was paying attention to tonight.

It was exactly the kind of date I wanted: sweet, innocent, erotic, heartfelt.

She asked me if "post-mortem Heath Ledger [was my] thing," so when he came into the mob meeting, the first time we really get to see him, I asked if I could hold her arm because that dead guy really scared me. We held hands until our hands cramped, and she felt so nice. She looked beautiful, again: red shirt with a green sweater. These high school girls on my left laughed when I asked her, probably because I'm a 25 year-old asking a woman if I can hold her hand. I like that. It's retarded.

After the movie I was starving, so I got something small to eat. She wasn't hungry. We talked about the movie, her job, and a bunch other things. We got on the subject of swastikas and symbols after I commented on her earrings: the Dharma symbol with a yin/yang in the middle (Lost!). I love listening to her talk because she always has a lot to say and knows so much, plus her voice and way of speaking really turn me on because she's so polite and well-spoken. And she's even cuter when we start to disagree, like when I said all art is a way of practicing psychology and she thought that wasn't true because of work-for-hire systems. Aside from a few good friends and my brother, I've never been able to talk analytically with someone so easily. You try describing the significance you find in something to most people and they give you a frightened look and want to shut you off. She hates racism, prejudice, lack of opinion, and seems to find some point of interest in everything around her. This is the total opposite of my family. And a lot like me. And a lot of what I look for. So, hence, I like her...a lot.

Later we started to say goodbye at her parents' car, but I remembered the Black Keys album I got her, so we walked to my car and I gave it to her. Then we walked back. I guess we spent about 20 minutes making out, and I was happy to continue that kiss from two weeks ago. We just kind of merged for a while, in the dark, while all the high school and junior high kids set free from the mall playpen walked to find their moms' cars. Then one of the moms started the car we were standing behind, so we said goodbye several times and kissed some more. After talking about visiting each other at our own places (she's trying to move in with a friend who lives not far from me), we said goodnight the last time and I walked to my car. I put on "To Sheila" by Smashing Pumpkins and started to feel the way I used to feel driving back to State College, overtaken by how powerful vulnerable feelings can be. They are my favorite feelings, when it's tenderness instead of fear . When you look up to someone so much that they give you that bittersweet feeling--you're crying because you have to part, but you know you'll see them soon, and you feel emotions instead of words. That's one of the things I really want in life. I thought I had it once, but it was not permanent.