Date

On Saturday the 9th I went on a date with this woman Amy, who I met online. We met at noon at the Philadelphia Museum of Art and I have to say, the museum was so engrossing that I feel completely embarrassed for not having visited earlier. I don't think we really went to many museums when I was young, but it's something I've gotten into more in the past few years. Not that I'm a regular, but I think it's going to become that way. I love the tokenism of the human being. Other animals have this, like dogs when they bring you their favorite chew toy. This is like earlier man sacrificing worthy animals or wine casks to gods. We like to collect and deify certain objects to show love to ourselves and each other. The museum is an inspiring way to see this in action. All times and "cultures" collide, as they should, categorized but losing distinction. That's the way I like it. The museum is my ideal island.

I love in particular the plates, the silverware, the preserved rooms. I want so much to go back in time because of my memory and how much I think about the past. This is as close as I can get. Of course, I love the paintings, too, but it's the whole array of objects. You're walking through the attic of an entire planet. I was able to look at Indian art and 16th Century German armor. The armor suit for the ten year-old boy made me sad. The breast piece with the sword wound made me laugh. So did the sword with dried blood still on it. But that's not very funny. What was truly sad was seeing how animalistic the armor was. We create these frightening, anthropomorphic pieces to kill each other because there isn't enough natural hate in us. How terrifyingly sad. If these men had seen each other honestly, face to face, there would have been no piercing. Instead I get to live out glimmers of their pretty real thrashing. For $14. And I love it.

Aside from the intense sensory experience, Amy made the whole trip a complete pleasure. The last date I had that was this enjoyable was with Lina, though I think I enjoyed our time together the rest of that week more than the first date. Regardless, I had a better feeling from Amy. Even walking up to the museum, after I navigated the parkway and found a spot to put my car inside the circle, I could feel it. I suppose the happy people, the sunshine, and the openness didn't hurt. Philadelphia's not a bad looking city, but the museum section of the Franklin Parkway is certainly a highpoint. You're right by one of my major Pennsylvania obsessions, the Susquehanna, and the area is open and green. Amish city life. And you're also staring at this enormous and beautiful building. What more could you want? It was a scene which welcomed me, but was fit for a place better than I was.

Amy works in art preservation, so she knew a lot and we had so much to say. Museums are great for first dates. I learned this with Monika, but compared to Amy that was nothing. Amy is very beautiful and extremely intelligent (well, Monika is too, but this is a different story). She has a delicate manner and politeness which I find attractive because it borders on freakish. Not everyone is polite on a date. Even Monika, sweet as she could be, would be on her cell phone during dinner. Annoying. Amy, instead, gave me a complete education. She also has this way of saying exactly so that she specifically pronounces the t. It's like two words: exact-ly. I thought that was adorable. When I hear the word in my head I can't help giving it that little pause, too. She likes using that word a lot. So she was a freak, which I love, because I am too. I used to tape cartoons and watching them over and over in elementary school so I could understand why I liked them, for Christ's sake. She understands music like I do and we share the museum obsession. So many people are lazy and boring, so it thrills me when I meet one of these rare people. I've done it in real life a few times, like Klaus Yoder, a great man I'll write about here one day. But the internet makes it easier, I suppose because there are so many sites and spots designated for people's individual obsessions. They are magnets and we can more easily find each other. It's one thing I got from the Smile Shop (I finally got to meet some people from there this weekend too--another post). I long to meet people like Amy every day, but it's painfully rare. People say that only freaky, messed up people meet online. Well, it's true, but it's not a negative thing. We're all messed up. You need to embrace it, and decide that it's an integral part of you or something which needs to be fixed. Retards pretend to be normal. There is no normal. The people who can truly live out their passions, these are my heroes. They look like freaks because they're not afraid to express, even if they're pretty shy. They have a strong love inside, a strong sense of consciousness. Sometimes I'm fooled, but it's a call I listen for at all times, because these are my people.

I find that with the freaks, you can have the best friendships and romances, provided they're good people. Many are. The reason is that if they care so much about their hobby, then 1) they're not too clingy because they have their own passion, and 2) they'll care about you just as much. I try to surround myself with these people as friends and girlfriends and also to return that passion as much as I can. My brother, Klaus Yoder, Lina, the people on the Shop, and a few others have been this in my life. Mark Crouse, I think, though I wish I'd appreciated it more. And Matt Anderson, wherever you are. I hope you're not dead.

Obviously, I hope to get the same exchange with Amy. She seems like a very special person. We spent hours in that museum and really connected, and her hug at the end was priceless. Well, first, she took such pains to give a great goodbye and make it clear that she wanted to meet again. I think we said goodbye like five times. But when we really parted we hugged and there was something innocent and childlike about it--a reach. I'm not sure what that was (the surprise of it, maybe). I just want to feel it again. Especially after all the bullshit I went through and put myself through. I called Amy tonight to see if she wanted to go to the Princeton Record Exchange next weekend, which we talked about before. She was at work, so I had to leave a message. So we'll see what happens. But it was a good date and, honestly, my favorite date.